RockingJuJu

A few weeks ago I took on a whole new attitude about Jacey's health. I was going to stop worrying and just look into the future. Jacey and I have been spending a lot of time talking about the HUGE party we are going to throw in 2011. Cancer can bite me because we are done and over that!

This new found attitude has done wonders for my mental health. Even going to the doctor yesterday was no sweat. Nothing could be wrong with Jacey she had already dealt with everything possible and even made up a few of new things. I mean seriously her lungs and kidney's had already taken the biggest hit possible. What could top them not functioning? We have beaten high blood pressure & seizures. She has a blind spot in her eye & her ears have clearly been effected. No big deal we can handle those. Her brain has had a slight set back, but again nothing we can't handle. We dealt with several other problems along the way but they were very small compared to everything else. Of course there were still things that could happen be really what are the odds?

Well I was sitting at school with Jacey tonight and the phone rang. I had just said I was only answering it if was someone really important. Imagine my surprise to see that it was the hospital. Okay no big deal they are just calling to tell me all Jacey test results are good...The voice on the other end had a great amount of hesitation in it. She asked if this was a bad time and seemed to want to make sure I was ready to receive the news she was about to deliver. This gave me an instant sick to my stomach feeling. I just knew what she was going to say but I was wrong. She said all of Jacey's labs & test came back good, I was just about to do the happy dance and then came this awful word...except. What do you mean except! She began to explain to me that Jacey had a small hole between the left & right side of her heart. This is a hole that most newborns have. It is called Patent Foreman Ovale. I am very confused by how this hole could have been missed since she has had so many ECHO's done before.  I have to call the cardiologist in the morning to get her in for further testing.

So much for my I am not going to worry theory. I am going to try to put it out of my mind though that is easier said than done. I do wish I would have been at home when I got the call. I wish I wouldn't have been in a place where I couldn't hide the fear that was taking over me. I had no choice but to try to explain to Jacey what was going on since she pretty much could see there was something wrong. I do wish I could have not told her until I knew more about it and had come up with a better way to explain it to her because now no matter how much I tell her she is fine she is scared.